A woman walks into a saloon

A priest gets a taxi. While driving, the taxi driver is being extremely obnoxious. Every time the car gets into a small pit in the road, the taxi driver says “F***k!”or “Shit!”. The priest is silent. Then they accidentally hit a pothole, and the taxi driver goes “Motherfker!”. Then they hit a crack in the…

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.” “Very good, Suzie,” replied…

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square. The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.” The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him…

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to make love when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a call girl and I charge $20 for this.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing….

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising. Two men passing by on a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them. No, thank you,” Mrs….

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said ‘Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.’ ‘What do you mean?’ said the pirate, ‘I feel fine.’ Bartender: What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before. Pirate: Well, we were in a battle and I got hit…