A woman walks into a saloon

A blonde woman called her brunette friend. “I’m doing a jigsaw puzzle at my apartment, but it’s way too hard for me!” “What’s the jigsaw supposed to be?” asks the brunette. “According to the box,” says the blonde, “it’s supposed to be a rooster.” When the brunette arrives at the blonde’s apartment, she looks at…

George and Jim were born in the same hospital on the same day They lived on the same street and they became the closest of friends, brought together by their shared love of football. Before they were old enough to go to school they’d play football together in the street. When they were at school…

A girl goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is tobe her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are…

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising. Two men passing by on a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them. No, thank you,” Mrs….

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” “I see millions and…

A young man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmacist: “I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need some protection. How much is a pack of them rubbers gonna cost me?” The pharmacist responds: “A three-pack of them is $4.99 with tax.” “TACKS!” the shocked redneck says. “Gawd a’ mighty, don’t…