Paddy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady. A few minutes later, He couldn’t control himself and let loose a huge fart. Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her “Do you by any chance have today’s paper”? The old lady said…
John and his Ole lady lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked John if he or his old lady wanted to buy something. “Well, she ain’t home, she’s gone down to the creek to wash clothes, but lemme see what…
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 is there is a…
A fellow comes to confession: “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned”. The elderly priest asked. “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted.” The fellow replied. “Tell me about it.” The priest said. The fellow then related his story. “Father, I am a delivery man for UPS. Yesterday I was making…
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon an old gentleman neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the old gentlemen, “What do you do to get your tomatoes…
“Piglet?” said Pooh. “Yes?” said Piglet. “I’m scared,” said Pooh. For a moment, there was silence. “Would you like to talk about it?” asked Piglet, when Pooh didn’t appear to be saying anything further. “I’m just so scared,” blurted out Pooh. “So anxious. Because I don’t feel like things are getting any better. If…
The husband comes home and worried because he has a scratch on his chest caused by a fingernail from his mistress, opens the door seeing the cat asleep on the couch, gives him a tremendous kick. The cat “screams” a loud meow and runs out the door. The wife comes in the living room…
