A teacher told his students, “The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early.” Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face. “Who threw that?!” the teacher shouted, angrily. “Me!” piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. “Can I leave now?”
Pierre, zee French fighter pilot is with his amour. “Oh, Pierre, I want you to kiss me”, she exclaims. And so he tilts her chin up and leans in, but just before he plants a kiss on her lips, he pours a little red wine on them, and then goes in for the kiss. “Oh,…
An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, “Because they are considered of lesser status.” Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the…
A laywoman was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me.” If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up…
A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder. The Russian tells him, “I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows.” “Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown…
A guy and his buddy are on the beach trying to pick up girls. The guy walks up and down the beach in his bathing suit and nothing. Nobody looks. He comes back to his friend and the friend says “try a speedo”. So he walks up and down the beach in his speedo. Nothing….
A small, balding man storms into a local bar and demands, “Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I’m so mad, I can’t even see straight. “The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit worse for the wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink…
A guy wakes up with a huge hangover and no recollection of his night out with his mates Slowly opening his eyes, he sees a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table. He looks around the room to find his clothes are on the dresser, neatly folded, with a clean…
Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me.” The Texan lady commented, “Well, isn’t that nice?” The lady from Mississippi continued,…
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: ‘Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?’ Michael said: ‘Just a minute I have to go…