Man: “Honey, on this Valentine’s Day, I want to tell you something…
I’m not rich like Jack.
I don’t have a mansion like Russell.
I don’t have a Porsche like Martin.
But I do love you and I want to marry you.”
Woman: “Oh, dear, I love you too!
What was that you said about Martin?”
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, Then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we…
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!” The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his…
Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her. He asks her what it is and she embarrassed replies, “Oh, that’s mommy’s black sponge.” A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, “Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!” She…
A beautiful woman is sitting next to the little johnny on a plane. There is terrible turbulence and then the plane goes into a sudden nosedive. The Captain comes on the intercom and says “I hate to have to tell you this folk, but we might not walk away from this one.” Everyone begins to…
Johnny was in class when his teacher asks:- Johnny, there are five birds on a tree. You shoot one, how many are left. None, miss. The others will fly away! The right answer is four, but i like the way you think. Johnny goes quiet, and then raises his hand. Yes? – Miss, there are…
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she…
