At school little Johnny’s class is learning about medicines. Sister Catherine, the teacher, asks the students what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for. The first student said: “Tylenol?” “Very good! And what is it used for?” “It is used for a headache.” The second student said: “Nytol.” “Excellent!” said Sister…
Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and said: “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday – she has everything, and besides,… she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stuck.” His friend said: “I have an idea! Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she…
Three friends who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate…
A very ‘straight and honest’ girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: “Daughter, when you’re in Town and if you’re looking for a match there,… you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is ‘faithful’, ‘thrifty’ and…
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order…
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.” The priest said, “What do you mean, almost?” The Irishman said, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.” The priest said, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re…
It’s 10pm when the phone rings in Dr. Stein’s house. “It’s Dr. Gold,” says his wife, passing him the phone, “I do hope it’s not another emergency. “Dr. Stein takes the phone and says, “Hi, what’s up?” “Don’t worry, everything’s OK,” replies Dr. Gold. “It’s just that I’m at home with Dr. Lewis and Dr….
Policeman: How could you kill 69 people? What the hell was wrong with you? Driver: I was driving at 80km/h when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a…
Teacher asks their class of children to come up with a sentence beginning with “I” After a few children come to the front with predictable statements about having a cat or a certain toy, a child steps up and says”I is-” and is immediately interrupted by the teacher, “I am!” She side-eyes the teacher, frowns…
A priest and a nun are having a tennis match… The priest is very competitive, but can’t seem to bring his A-game to the nun who is clearly better. After a volley from the nun, the priest misses and yells: “Goddamn it! I missed!”, startling the nun. She let it slip by and the match…