A widowed elderly lady was sunbathing on a beach in Fort Myers, FL. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. “Hello sir, how are you…
A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says: “Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998” and all the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answers “Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953” and they were once again amazed….
Charlie marries a virgin girl. On their wedding night, he’s on fire, and wants some dirty fun so he gets undressed, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her. “Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table.” So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and…
Things Your Wife Won’t Say: The smell of beer on your breath drives me wild. I’m bored. Let’s shave the privates. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. Let’s get a good romantic movie, a case of beer, and make an afternoon of it. God, if I don’t blow you soon, I swear…
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat…
After working together for a while, Frank and Jane’s office romance blossomed and they really developed the hots for each other. One day, they seize the opportunity to sneak into a supply closet to consummate their lust. Frank finds Jane very tight and difficult to enter, but finally succeeds. When they are finished, Frank says…
A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for lovemaking. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey, you know…
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his tool inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts…
A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He’s got spiked, multi-colored hair that’s green, purple, and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he’s wearing worn-out shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright feathers. He sits…
A young man finally got a date with the hot girl that lived in his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the uncovered. Unfortunately, the…