Back in the 50’s, a man walked into a Hollywood agent’s office. He told the agent that he wanted to be a big star and that he wanted the agent to represent him. The agent asked the man’s name, to which he proudly replied, “Pnis Van Lsbian.” Taken aback, the agent said, “If you want…
Two beggars in London Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London … Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day. Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of…
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge…… “I should be in charge,” said the brain , “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood , “Because I circulate oxygen all…
A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes.” The pharmacist says, “Ma’am, not only can I not do that for you, I’m going to have to call the police and report you.”…
A lawyer dies and appears in front of the golden gates of heaven… He finds himself at the back of a long queue of Popes. Suddenly, St. Peter grabs him and takes him straight through the pearly gates. “I don’t understand” the lawyer said puzzled. “There’s hundreds of Popes waiting in line and you’ve let…
A boy asked a beautiful girl in a library… “Do you mind if I sit beside you”? The girl answered with a loud angry voice; “I don’t want to spend the night with you!!” All the people in the library started staring at the boy shooting daggers in his direction. The girl then whispered to…
An old priest died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. Next to him was a young Uber driver who died seconds ago from his reckless driving. The priest was called first, and St Peter said, “For your life long career working for the church, we will give you a small studio where you can…
A blonde is going door to door trying to find some paying work. She knocks on one door and an older man opens it up. “Hey mister, do you have any odd jobs I could do for cash?” He looks her up and down and surmises that she’s an idiot whom he can take advantage…
A man dies and goes to Hell. Satan greets him and says, “Welcome to hell, Dave. First, the Wi-fi password is… “Dave says, “Wait, you guys have wi-fi?” Satan replies, “Of course we do.” “That’s certainly not bad at all” says Dave. Satan continues, “So, as I was saying, the wi-fi password is the number…
A drunk man stumbles out of bar and runs into 2 priest. The drunk man looks at the 1st priest and says,”Hey, I’m Jesus Christ. “The 1st priest tells the man, “No, my son, you’re not.” Then the man turns to the 2nd priest and says the same thing. “Hey, I’m Jesus Christ.” The 2nd…
