Two programmers after work, talking in a pub: “You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice hot girl in a bar.” – And what did you do ? “I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me…
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and…
Husband: Knocks the door at midnight. Wife: Go back where you coming from! Husband: Open the door or I throw myself in the swimming pool! Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care? So the husband stands near the dark part of the gate and waits for 2 minutes, takes a big…
Two Italian men get on a bus… They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two…
One day this big, nasty, sweaty woman wearing a raggedy sleeveless sundress walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, “What man out there will buy a lady a drink?” The whole bar goes dead silent…
An old man is laying in bed, he only has a day or two left. He wakes up to the smell of his favorite thing in the world, chocolate chip cookies baking in the kitchen. So he musters all his energy and pulls himself out of bed and then drags himself down to the kitchen…
Mr. Evans discovered that her daughter found a boyfriend. Being a protective father that he is, he starts interrogating her about the mystery guy. “Did he finish college?” he asked. “Yes, Dad. In fact, he was always top of his class,” replied the proud girl. “Well, does he have a decent job?” he asked further….
A man ordered a voice-automated robot car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error. He got the car and became very proud of what the car could do without mistakes. One day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children…
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of…
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns…