A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large c*ndoms. He replies, “Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?” She responds, “No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?”
On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, “I have a confession to make. I’m not a maiden. I’ve been with one other guy.” “Oh yeah? Who was the guy?” “Tiger Woods, the golfer.” “Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that.” The couple then makes passionate love….
On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished.” Oh, oh, aaaahhh,” he…
Every spring, as soon as the snows thawed, a certain mountain woman would come down into town, have a baby and gather supplies for the summer. After a few years of this, she looked despairingly at the doctor and said, “Doctor, I don’t know how much more of this I can handle. We got us…
One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Naturally, she was very upset. “You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me! I’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want…
In a terrible car accident, 3 nuns die at the same time. They all appear in front of the gates of Heaven to meet Saint Peter. When they arrive, Peter informs them that those who lived a life of the cloth must answer some basic questions about theology before they are permitted to enter Heaven….
A man and a blonde meet in an elevator. “Where are you heading today?” the man asks. “I’m going down to give blood.” “How much do you get paid for giving blood?” “About $20.” “Wow,” says the man, “I’m going up to donate s**p*rm, and the s**p*rm bank pays $100.” The woman angrily gets off…
A couple took their young son for his first visit to the circus. When his father left to buy popcorn, the boy asked, “Mom, what’s that long thing on the elephant?” “That’s the elephant’s trunk, dear,” she replied. “No, Mom, down underneath.” His mother blushed and said, “Oh, that’s nothing.” The father returned, and the…
A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment “RENT FOR…
Ben asks his new girlfriend for a HJ. “Ive never done that” she says, “what do I do ?” “Well” replies Ben, “remember when you were a kid and you’d shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it … that’s what you do.” She nods, so he pulls his manhood out and she…