There was this guy working at McDonald’s. and it was his turn to cook the French fries. So he put the frozen fries in the metal basket and dipped it in the oil. You see this guy was a veteran chef and used to be able to sense when food was cooked by looking at…
A man walked into a sandwich shop… This shop was the talk of the town. Fresh and new delicious sandwiches made each day. The man ordered a foot long sub sandwich with all the fillings. He sat down and took a bite. And spat it out immediately in disgust. The bread was stale, almost rock…
The head of an organized crime syndicate realized his accountant had been skimming money from him for years. Unfortunately the accountant only spoke Russian. So the boss hired a Russian interpreter and busted into the accountant’s home. He tells to the interpreter, “tell him I want to know where my money is, AND I WANT…
A legal representative of KFC manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope. After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers, “Your eminence, we have an offer for you. KFC is prepared to donate $100 million dollars to the church if you change the Lord’s Prayer from give us this day our daily bread to give…
Back in the 50’s, a man walked into a Hollywood agent’s office. He told the agent that he wanted to be a big star and that he wanted the agent to represent him. The agent asked the man’s name, to which he proudly replied, “Pnis Van Lsbian.” Taken aback, the agent said, “If you want…
Kevin the town idiot. A guy is with a friend. He points to another guy down the street and says “Look, that’s the town idiot. I’ll show you. I do this every week “He then hollers at the other guy” Hey Kevin! Here, a gift for you, and you get to choose! One $20 bill,…
Two beggars in London Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London … Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day. Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of…
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge…… “I should be in charge,” said the brain , “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood , “Because I circulate oxygen all…
Last year I replaced several windows in my house and they were the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work has been completed for a whole year and I had yet to pay for them. Boy oh boy did we go ’round. Just…
A man goes into his doctors after being assaulted by an elephant in the jungle. As the man explains what happened in the jungle the doctor is confused. “Well, I can’t see any injuries on you, so what happened?” The man responds “Well you see Doc, the elephant knocked me down and…. Had his way…