Five 4th grade boys in a typical bathroom discussion during recess were discussing how to get a girl. It was nearly unanimous that girls were easy to get by guys with a perfect man tool. None of the boys seemed to know what the perfect tool was though. Jimmy stayed on the periphery listening and…
New students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor began the lecture by telling them: “In medicine, it is necessary to possess two important qualities as a doctor: The first…
Three tortoises, Rodney, Roger and Gary, decide to go on a picnic. Rodney packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is that the picnic site is 10 miles away. So, it takes them 10 days to get there. When they get there Rodney unpacks the food and beer. “Ok Gary give me…
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot, then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another one. After he finishes, he looks into his pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and asks the man why he looks into his pocket ordering each shot. The man replies, “I…
There were Two Nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes?…
A very ‘straight and honest’ girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: “Daughter, when you’re in Town and if you’re looking for a match there,… you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is ‘faithful’, ‘thrifty’ and…
Teacher asks their class of children to come up with a sentence beginning with “I” After a few children come to the front with predictable statements about having a cat or a certain toy, a child steps up and says”I is-” and is immediately interrupted by the teacher, “I am!” She side-eyes the teacher, frowns…
A priest and a nun are having a tennis match… The priest is very competitive, but can’t seem to bring his A-game to the nun who is clearly better. After a volley from the nun, the priest misses and yells: “Goddamn it! I missed!”, startling the nun. She let it slip by and the match…
A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a…
A pothead, a math teacher, and a gym teacher all go to heaven. God tells them that heaven is full and they will have to trick the devil to be let in. God calls the devil and the devil comes in and introduces himself. The math teacher tries first and gives him a hard equation….