A shy guy named Mike is having a drink in a bar when he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end. After an hour of gathering up his courage, in liquid form, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”…
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their personal love lives. Karen said, “I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does.” Joanne giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft.” Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally…
A man goes to a hospital and sees a man masturbating. He asks the nurse why is he doing so. The nurse explains to him that if he doesn’t masturbate every 6 hours there would be a clot and he would die. Then in the next room, he sees a nurse giving a blowjob to…
A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’? “His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team. “When they are seated,…
A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.” With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, “Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!” As the…
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today? ”There’s something wrong with my privates’, he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. ”Why not,…
A little boy asks his mother, “Mom, is it possible to eat electricity?” The mother says: ‘What? Where did you hear that? The boy replied: “Yesterday I heard Dad say to you, ‘Turn off the light and put it in your mouth.’
Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond. Now,…
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks “Why in the world are you walking around like this?”…
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde…