A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers. They searched them and took the guys wallet, his watch and the motorbike but couldn’t find any jewelry from the girl. When the muggers had…
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns…
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: “Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?” “Of course, I know you Mr. Smith! says the old woman. I know you since you were little, and I have to…
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.” The husband said, “You are in charge of the cooking around here so…
WIFE: Honey let’s play a game HUSBAND: Okay. What’s the game about? WIFE: If I mention a country, you run to the left side of the room and touch the wall & if I mention a bird, you run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run in the…
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do…
An accountant is in a car travelling with a farmer client around his farm. They pass a large mob of sheep and the farmer says, “You re pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock?” The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says, “One thousand,…
Sue phones her husband at work, ” Dan, do you have time for a chat?” “Sorry, darling, this is not a good time – I’m about to go into a board meeting.” “But this won’t take long,” Sue says, “I just want to tell you some good news and some bad news.” “I really haven’t…
A 50-year-old lady, who suddenly started learning how to swim instead of her usual routine work of going to a Church !!!! Everyone was curious and asked her: “why the change in your interest in swimming nowadays?” The lady, with a look of helplessness, replied: “Whenever my son and daughter-in-law quarrel with each other She…
The doctor was having tea with his wife when the phone rang. From there his friend said three of us are sitting, carrying a bottle of 18-year-old whiskey. Will you come? The doctor said I will come now. The wife asked what is the matter. The doctor said that “Three doctors have reached, I also…