As soon as the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. “How did everything go?” her mom asked. “Oh, mother,” she began, “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time. But, mother, on our way back, Andy started using really horrible…
One day I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: “Are you okay, what’s your name?” “I’m Phil and I’m OK thanks,” I replied. “Phil, forget your troubles Come to my villa, rest a while…
A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they…
A young couple move into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging up the washing outside. Wife: “That laundry isn’t very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly Perhaps she needs better laundry detergent.” Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her…
An elderly gentleman had been experiencing serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor…
A dude with his pants hanging half off his bum, two gold front teeth, cell phone in his hand and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said,”Hey man You know, I just HATE drawing…
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. “Were you worried, father?” “Yes, I was really worried… I want to know how much did that date cost you…” “It cost me only four euros!” “Hmm, it’s not that much.” “I know father… But…
An elderly couple in their 80’s were going to Florida. At the border, the customs officer asks where they were going. The wife says “what did he say”. The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we are going. He then tells the officer that we are going…
A married woman walks up to a doctor and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in love making. Doctor then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it’s working. So she…
A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?” The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..” Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race…