A married couple are out one night at a dance club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” The husband says,…
A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, “It’s my husband, you have to leave!” The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He…
A man and his wife goes for a date. They are seated and after browsing the menu they both decide to order the soup of the day. When the waiter brings their soup the man knocks his spoon on the floor. “Whoops,” he says and turns to the waiter, “I’m terribly sorry but could I…
Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken. When he finally got to the last hotel, he pleaded to the manager, “You’ve got to have a room somewhere, or just a bed, I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room…
A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied. A stewardess noticed his predicament and told him, “I’ll let you…
A 71 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar Suddenly a gorgeous 19 year old girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can’t take his eyes off her After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him. Before…
The husband and his young wife were not on good terms. In fact the wife was convinced that he was carrying on with the pretty housemaid, so she laid a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t inform the husband. That night when they went to bed, the…
A man invites a friend to a hunting party in Africa, We’re going to hunt gorillas. I’ve never done such a thing, how do you even hunt gorillas ? Well it’s quite easy, all you need is a dog, a big bag, and a rifle. OK… And how do you use them? Simple as that…
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said ‘Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.’ ‘What do you mean?’ said the pirate, ‘I feel fine.’ Bartender: What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before. Pirate: Well, we were in a battle and I got hit…
A little boy walks into an ice-cream store wearing a cowboy hat and a pair of six shooters. The woman behind the counter can’t help smiling at the tough expression on his chubby little face. “Hello there,cowboy,” she says “What can I get for you?” The kid bellies up to the counter. “I’ll have an…