It was high time that Paddy got married. So, his parents called a marriage broker in Dublin and ask him to find a good wife for their son: The broker comes over to their house and spends a long time asking questions about Paddy and his parents as to what they want in a wife/daughter-in-law….
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute! Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking? Woman 1: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think…
A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how she’d do. The blonde did so and completely duffed the shot. The pro said, “Your swing is good but you’re gripping the club too hard grip the club gently as you would…
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor,…
The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. “Ever have an accident?” “Nope, nary a one.” “None? You’ve never had any accidents.” “Nope. Ain’t had one. Never.” “Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn’t you…
Ben came from a large family. He had five sisters and three brothers. One day he was looking through the family photo album with his mother when he noticed, in page after page, that all the children were dressed in the same colors. He asked his mother why they were all dressed alike. She explained,…
A lab supervisor was on duty in the university’s computer lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about ten minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only…
A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: “As a vet – I don’t need to ask my patients all kinds of annoying questions: I can tell what’s wrong just by…
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What do two plus two equal?” The mathematician replies “Four.” The interviewer asks “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says “Yes, four, exactly.” Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and…
A man and his wife check into a hotel The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed when, suddenly, an elevated train passes by very close to the window…