This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionalism goes right out the window… He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs. “Do you know what I am doing?” asks the doctor?…
Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes ballistic, “You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?” Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, “I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” “I see millions and…
A marine general, an army general, and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, “Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!” The private reports as ordered, “Yes sir?” The general says, “See that man over there? Kill him!” Without…
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom’s best friend takes him aside and asks what’s wrong. “Well,” replies the man, “when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking.” “Oh, you shouldn’t worry about that too much,” says…
Jim decided to propose Sandy, but prior to her acceptance. Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her chest at maturity of a 12 years old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. “I too have…
There were 10 blondes and 1 brunette hanging on a rope in the mountains. The rope was very weak and the brunette said someone had to let go. No one volunteered, until the brunette finally said she would let go, and gave a heart-felt speech. Hearing this the blondes started clapping
A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks “how much for a beer?” The bartender replies “$1”. The customer completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender “Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of mashed potatoes and salad, and an entire cheesecake…
Walking home after a girls’ night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman’s husband phones the second…
Two older women were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. First Lady: Whats that? Second Lady: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet. First Lady: Where did…