A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. “This will look good on my mantel,” he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared…
Things Your Wife Won’t Say: The smell of beer on your breath drives me wild. I’m bored. Let’s shave the privates. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. Let’s get a good romantic movie, a case of beer, and make an afternoon of it. God, if I don’t blow you soon, I swear…
A Chinese doctor can’t find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts up a sign outside: ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.’ An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. Lawyer: ‘I…
April was explaining to her husband how much fun they’d had at the beach during her “girls day” outing. “But,” she told him, “It didn’t end all that great for me.” “Why, what happened?” he asked. “I went out to take a swim in the rough water but I didn’t go out far because the waves…
This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she’d like a ride. The woman thanked her and got in the car. After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag…
My wife just had her eye removed and she’s quite upset about it. To cheer her up, I told her I was having it embalmed, encased in glass and put on a keychain so I could always have it near me. Wife: “Why the f**k would you want to do that?!” she yelled. Me: “Well,…
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring…
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat…
A photographer from a well known national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and…
A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I…