Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.” Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology….
One day Billy called the little johnny. Billy: I’m in big trouble! JOHNNY: Why is that? Billy: I saw a mouse in my house! JOHNNY: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap. Billy: I don’t have one. JOHNNY: Well then, buy one. Billy: Can’t afford one. JOHNNY: I can give you…
Little Johnny was busy sleeping in the class when the lesson was going on. The teacher caught him and asked him. Teacher: Why are you sleeping while I was teaching? You are not listening! Little Johnny: Madam, your voice was so sweet, that’s why I slept off. Teacher: Then why are others not sleeping? Little…
Senior Drivers No Longer Need Drivers License My neighbour was working in his yard, when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn…
Paddy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady. A few minutes later, He couldn’t control himself and let loose a huge fart. Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her “Do you by any chance have today’s paper”? The old lady said…
John and his Ole lady lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked John if he or his old lady wanted to buy something. “Well, she ain’t home, she’s gone down to the creek to wash clothes, but lemme see what…
Well, one day Freddie the Falcon waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years: After a while when she didn’t return, so he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead! Freddie was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another…
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 is there is a…
A fellow comes to confession: “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned”. The elderly priest asked. “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted.” The fellow replied. “Tell me about it.” The priest said. The fellow then related his story. “Father, I am a delivery man for UPS. Yesterday I was making…
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon an old gentleman neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the old gentlemen, “What do you do to get your tomatoes…
