A man places his tool in a crocodiles mouth in front of amazed onlookers He assures the crowd that it is a well trained animal and that he is perfectly safe. To demonstrate this even further he takes a full beer bottle and smacks the Croc over the head – all while his tackle rests…
A woman walks into a bar. He’s very inebriated, so she stumbles to the bartender. ‟I will have a whiskey schlour!” she slurs ‟I can’t serve you ma’am, you’ve had too much.” The barkeep informs her. Looking disgruntled, she walks out the front door. A few minutes later she walks in through the side entrance….
All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend, “My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key…
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don’t try to fool me because I can tell the difference.” The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, “Bartender,…
“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old man. “You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out.” “Ah, that’s nothing,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you don’t have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on…
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room,… waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight,.. and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was brst-fed or bottle-fed? “Brst-fed,” she replied. “Well, strip down to your waist,”…
I was due for an appointment with the gynaecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45…
A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down. The garage doesn’t open until morning so they have to spend the night in a hotel. It only has one room available. The priest says: “Sister, I don’t think the Lord would object if we spend the…
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pr*gn*nt. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses…
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already….