A few years ago I had a proud (step)dad moment I think this sub will like.. This was right after picking her up from preschool. She was usually a bit grumpy and I always tried to be fun and keep the drive home more upbeat. Her: “I’m hungry.” Me: “Nice to meet you, hungry, I’m…
Unexpectedly, an artist’s wife started making love with him every day. Though quite unusual, he didn’t question his luck, deciding to just enjoy the ride. One day, his wife approached him. “Honey? Can you sketch a picture for me?” “Of course!” he replied. “What should I draw?” “What you think our baby will look like….
Jimmy had a foul mouthed talking parrot as a pet. Whenever the parrot would see the woman who lived next door. The parrot would scream, “Darn it, ho’, darn it, ho’.” One day, the woman came to Jimmy’s house and complained to Jimmy about the parrot and asked him to mind his parrot. Jimmy drowned…
A woman goes to prison to visit her husband who has just been sentenced to 40 years in jail. As soon as she enters the visiting room, she hugs him and exclaims with tears in her eyes: – “Oh! Roger, 40 years, Roger.?” And the husband replies: “Well, my love, what are you going to…
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?” Sarah waves her hand, “Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!” Miss Rogers says, “All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?” Sarah says, “Take care of yourself.” Miss Rogers smiles…
Josey wasn’t the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. “Who is the creator of the universe?” Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, “God…
A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, “I want to be gorgeous.” God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want…
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can’t escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, “It’s been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can…
A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes…
