Doris is sitting in a bar and says to her friend that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her chest. The bartender tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.” Doris asks, “How do I do it without surgery?” “Just rub toilet paper…
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and a homely brunette are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard…
Three women were trapped on an island. They needed to get across the water to the mainland. They came across a genie who said, “I will grant you ladies three wishes. ” The first woman said, “Turn me into a fish” and she swam across the water to the other island . The second…
An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, “Because they are considered of lesser status.” Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the…
A bus full of nuns crashes and they all die and go to the pearly gates. There they are met by St Peter. St Peter asks the first nun: “Sister, have you ever touched a man unit?” The Sister replies: “Yes, with the tip of my finger” “OK, dip the tip of your finger in…
This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. She tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. She…
A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists. “What are you doing?” they ask her. So she replies, “Hanging myself.” The men are confused and asked,…
A milkman who is dying in the hospital is surrounded his two sons, daughter and his wife and nurse. Says to his eldest son: “To you, Peter, I leave the Beverly terrace.” “To you, my dear daughter, I leave the apartments in the High street Plaza.” “To you, Charlie, being my youngest son with a…
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you,you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing…
A woman of night tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her inner lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her…