A laywoman was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me.” If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up…
Three friends were bragging about who has had the most counters on bed. The first guy starts, “You have nothing on me! I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch tool! I’ve slept with more than…
A Man Accidentally Elbows a Woman’s Chest as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says “if your heart is as soft as your chest, I know you’ll forgive me.” To which the woman replied “if your tool is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 318.”
A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: “A baby brother.” “Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother,” said her mom, “but there isn’t time before your birthday.” “Why don’t you do like they do down at Daddy’s factory when they want something in…
A man tries to bang bang with his wife. She tells him, “I’m sorry, honey. I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, so I want to be fresh”. Disappointed, the man walks away. Moments later, the man walks back to his wife and asks,” You don’t have a dentist appointment tomorrow, do you?”.
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of my wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the…
A guy walks into a bar with two black eyes after a church service. His friend ask “Dale, what the hell happened to your face?” “When the lady sitting in front of me stood up to sing the hymns, I noticed her dress was clutched between her butt cheeks, so, being poIite I pulled it…
A man is listening to his daughter pray one night. The daughter says, “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, and goodbye grandpa!” The dad asks her, “Why did you say goodbye grandpa?” She replies, “I don’t know, it just felt right.” The next morning the grandpa sadly dies. The man rubs it…
My girlfriends name is Wendy and I had it tattooed on my unit. When it’s flaccid you can only see WY. On a trip to the Caribbean I went to the bathroom and was standing at the trough next to a local. I briefly gazed down and saw that he too had WY tattooed on…
A modern, Orthodox, Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets with their rabbi for counseling. The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, “Rabbi, we realize it’s tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we’d like your…