A man is walking along the Las Vegas strip, and meets the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen…. He starts talking to her, and to his luck he finds out she is a call girl. So, he asks her.”How much for a HJ?” “$5,000″ she replies.”$5,000?? You must be nuts, no way.” “Walk with me.”…
Three women are sitting in a bar. The girl on the far left starts talking about the things she can shove inside of her. “I fit an entire pineapple one time.” she says proudly. The girl in the middle scoffs and replies, “That’s nothing I got a whole watermelon once.” The third girl looks at…
A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She’s so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them. Her husband confused looks down and goes, “What’s that for?” His wife replies, “For the flowers of course.” He thinks for a…
Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp. They rub it, and a genie appears. “I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces. The first dinosaur thinks hard. “Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat. “Instantly, the biggest,…
A Husband looks at his wife and says… “I bet you can not say something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.” The wife thinks for a second then says. Your tool is 2 inches bigger then your brothers
A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder. The Russian tells him, “I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows.” “Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown…
Three expectant mothers are sitting in the doctor’s office, knitting. The first mother puts down her knitting, picks up her handbag, pulls out a bottle of pills, takes one, then resumes knitting. She sees the other two mothers looking at her, so she says, “Vitamins. Good for mummy-” She pats her stomach. “-and good for…
Two guys decide that they’d go out drinking on the night before their exam. Wasted on the night before, the two arrive at the university well after the exam ended. They went straight to the professor, saying that they couldn’t take the test because one of the car’s tires had gone flat. Surprisingly, the professor…
A guy and his buddy are on the beach trying to pick up girls. The guy walks up and down the beach in his bathing suit and nothing. Nobody looks. He comes back to his friend and the friend says “try a speedo”. So he walks up and down the beach in his speedo. Nothing….
Three women were having a drink in a bar. They were all claiming they could make their husband scream the loudest during bang bang. “Alright,” one of them said, “let’s secretly record the audio and see who’s the loudest.” Two days later they came back to the bar. They all smugly lit a cigar each,…