I was a very happy man and was about to get married. There was just one thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia. My prospective sister in law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts and generally was Bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me. I always got a…
Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago, her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the dating world. Finally, Anna said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mum I have someone for you to meet.” Well, it was an immediate hit. They took…
Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” said Little Johnny. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken….
There was this guy working at McDonald’s. and it was his turn to cook the French fries. So he put the frozen fries in the metal basket and dipped it in the oil. You see this guy was a veteran chef and used to be able to sense when food was cooked by looking at…
A man was dumping toxic waste into a river. Suddenly, the sky darkened, lightning flashed, and a glowing woman appeared, hovering above the river. “For your crimes, I curse you to only speak in words related to water!”, she intoned, and then vanished in another flash of lightning. The man stood, shocked, before gathering his…
A man walks into a bar, and sees a huge jar sitting on the counter. The jar is stuffed with $10 bills. There has to be at least twenty grand in there. Curious, he approaches the bartender. He asks, “What’s the deal with the jar?” The bartender replies, “You put ten bucks in, and if…
A soldier approached a nun Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out…
A man walked into a sandwich shop… This shop was the talk of the town. Fresh and new delicious sandwiches made each day. The man ordered a foot long sub sandwich with all the fillings. He sat down and took a bite. And spat it out immediately in disgust. The bread was stale, almost rock…
A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough.. there’s an ad for “Alberta Bear Removers.” He calls the number and the man says he’ll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives and gets out of his…
The head of an organized crime syndicate realized his accountant had been skimming money from him for years. Unfortunately the accountant only spoke Russian. So the boss hired a Russian interpreter and busted into the accountant’s home. He tells to the interpreter, “tell him I want to know where my money is, AND I WANT…