A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of b**bs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s brsts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice,…
Little Johnny’s dad asked if Little Johnny wanted to play a game Little Johnny asked “What game is it”? His Dad replied saying “For the next hour, sit on the front porch, count how many blue cars drive by”. And he sent little Johnny off to the front porch with a lollipop and promptly went…
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating… She says, “What the hell do you guys think you are doing? “One of the Bulgarian men says, “Can’t you see? Ve arrrre all verrry, verrry hoongry. “The…
Back in the 50’s, a man walked into a Hollywood agent’s office. He told the agent that he wanted to be a big star and that he wanted the agent to represent him. The agent asked the man’s name, to which he proudly replied, “Pnis Van Lsbian.” Taken aback, the agent said, “If you want…
Kevin the town idiot. A guy is with a friend. He points to another guy down the street and says “Look, that’s the town idiot. I’ll show you. I do this every week “He then hollers at the other guy” Hey Kevin! Here, a gift for you, and you get to choose! One $20 bill,…
Two beggars in London Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London … Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day. Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of…
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge…… “I should be in charge,” said the brain , “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood , “Because I circulate oxygen all…
George comes home to his apartment, drunk as a skunk, and says to his roommate Ted, “I just visited Joe’s Tavern. It’s the best one I ever visited. It even had a solid gold toilet!” “Cool!” says Ted. He is so excited, he calls up Joe’s Tavern. “My roommate told me all about your solid…
A man walks into a bar. Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food. He looks up at the menu above the bar it says: Hot dog – $2Cheeseburger – $5Hand job – $10He asks the waitress, “Miss are you the one who gives…
Guy visits his favourite Dominatrix He puts his money on the bedside table and says “I’ve been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.” She makes him strip and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom. Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts. She runs her whip over…