My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home! Officer: Age? Husband: I’m not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don’t do birthdays. Officer: Height? Husband: I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall. OFFICER : Weight? Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat. OFFICER : Color of eyes?…
A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in…
These three drunk guys decide to go to the joy house. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn the lights out. The guys are so drunk the won’t know the difference. 30 minutes later the fellas are back out on the…
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery. The Arab immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket. He says to the Jew, “See how good I am? The owner didn’t see a thing.” The Jew says to the Arab, “That’s typical of you Arabs. I am going to show you an…
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants…
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she…
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why do you want to talk to me?” she asked puzzled. “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out…
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A Very attractive gorgeous woman arrived and bet twenty thousand Dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t Mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely wear nothing.” With that, she stripped from her neck down, rolled the…
Husband gets home and tells his wife. “quick, get me a beer before it starts.” She gets the beer. He chugs it and says, “quick, get me another before it starts.” She obliges. Husband again chugs it and says “quick, get me another beer before it starts.” The wife replies “if you want another beer…
Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced, “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?” Bill explained, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have…
