A marine comes back from Vietnam after fighting for a year He is sent to the pentagon. The pentagon asks him: Do you want to get anything for your sacrifices? The marine says: I want a dollar for every inch from the tip of my member to the bottom. The pentagons says: You sure you…
A young man goes into a drug store to buy safety pack. The pharmacist says its come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want this because I think tonight’s “the” night….
Two old ladies were sitting at a bus stop smoking cigarettes… Suddenly it begins to rain. Old lady #1 pulls a safety pack out of her purse and slips it over her cigarette and continues smoking. Impressed, old lady #2 says, “Whad’ya call that thing and where can I get one?” “You mean this cigarette…
A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the first man standing in the tellers line and asks, “Did you see me rob this bank?” The man stammered, “Yes.”Bang! The robber shoots him. He then turns the gun on the married…
A British doctor says: “In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he was looking for a job.” The German doctor replies: “That’s nothing. In Germany, we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks…
A couple, both age 78, went to a physical therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us while making love? “The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have making love,” and charged…
Two CEOs meet after a long trip one of them has visited Japan. So they are talking about how the trip was and one says: “look I got this amazing robot secretary from there, it does everything human secretary does except 20 times faster and 200% more efficiently. “The other one says: “that sounds impressive…
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. “Well sister, this looks pretty grim.” “I know,…
Johnny was in class when his teacher asks:- Johnny, there are five birds on a tree. You shoot one, how many are left. None, miss. The others will fly away! The right answer is four, but i like the way you think. Johnny goes quiet, and then raises his hand. Yes? – Miss, there are…
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of…
